


Are you serious?

by Morathi_Cain



Series: Tharn and Type or Type and Tharn ~ feelings are never easy [2]
Category: TharnType the Series (TV)
Genre: Cheating, Fighting, Getting Together, Heartache, Insecurity, M/M, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-02-23 01:20:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23303440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morathi_Cain/pseuds/Morathi_Cain
Summary: Tharn has accepted to be a sex friend only with a tense smile and Type hates it. He hates everything about this situation but he has no idea why and what to do. But he still tells Tharn he won't be coming to his concert because of Paifah's birthday. And Tharn's reaction makes him wonder ...
Relationships: Tharn Kirigun/Type (TharnType)
Series: Tharn and Type or Type and Tharn ~ feelings are never easy [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1701343
Comments: 8
Kudos: 180





	Are you serious?

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I was actually writing another story, but this one squeezed itself between and so here it is. I hope you have fun and keep safe ;)

Are you serious?

„Oh ...“

Type could see the exact moment Tharn was putting on his business smile, withdrawing himself from Type physically and mentally. It made Type almost reach out as if to pull Tharn back to him, but instead, he was clinging to his phone as if it could help him find the solution to all his problems.

The parts Tharn had touched only moments before went cold as ice, making Type shiver as he continued to stare at the other man. He gulped, trying to find his voice.

He didn’t even know what he wanted to say. Did he want to push Tharn away or did he want to pull him close? One part of him was screaming to get his distance, to go back to being normal. Another part of him urged him to stop being an idiot and commit. Commit to his feelings, his desires.  
No, he almost shook his head, there were no feelings, no pressure on his heart, no uncomfortable pull in his belly whenever Tharn would pull back or smile his artificial smile. There was nothing more between them than sex. He’d just gotten used to having Tharn around, didn’t he?

Finally, he managed to open his mouth and speak something akin to words: „I’ve decided to ask Paifah if she wants to be my girlfriend.“

For a short, short moment Type could see a flash of pain in Tharn’s face. It must be quite strong to break his blank mask, he thought as his heart started to beat faster and more urgently against his ribcage.

But the moment was over so fast, it could have been a hallucination as well. A deep dread settled in him as he watched Tharn pull even more back. He looked down at the blanket, this damn, fake smile intensifying as he wished him luck and reminded him to buy her a present.

Really? That was all?  
Type kept quiet, his gaze glued to Tharn as if the mask would crack if he just stared hard and long enough.

„Please tell me how it goes, so I know how to behave around you.“

Their eyes met for a short moment before Tharn broke the contact and left his bed abruptly to go to his own.

Really?

Type stared at Tharn who lay down, put his earphones in and closed his eyes, not looking at Type once more.

Really?

Type felt his heart rate speed up again as well as his throat closing. Breathing got more difficult as he stared and stared, hoping with every fibre of his heart this was a bad dream. As if Tharn would suddenly turn around and tell him it was all a joke and he wouldn’t let Type go. As if Tharn would tell him clearly how he would fight for him and his feelings, not giving up his great love.

Or had it all been a lie? Just a joke to get Type into his bed? To make Type obsessed with his kisses, his eyes, just him?

Type choked and he didn’t know if it was because of anger or the sadness rising in his chest. There were even tears in his eyes, but he refused to cry. Yet. Another choke escaped him. 

Tharn’s head went up at the sound and he turned out of reflex. Their eyes met again and something stopped inside of Type. Maybe it was his heart, maybe his mind, maybe it was an explosion instead.

„Really? Good luck? That’s all?“

He knew he must be looking terrible because he was blushing and he knew his tears were close to falling, but he still refused to be reduced to a crying ball of stress.

Tharn stared at him with a puzzled look, but still far too guarded.

„So that’s it? You’re just gonna say ‘alright’ and move on? Do you already have another lover on the side? Ready to move on?“

Tharn sat up straight and turned towards Type, his brows drawn together: „I ...“

Type jumped up, so he was standing, no longer able to restraint the energy surging through his body: „You told me I was the love of you life and you couldn’t live without me and now this? You accept this without another word? As if I’d been one of your cheap fucks?!“

His chest was heaving as he continued to stare at Tharn who seemed too surprised to say anything at all.

And so he continued with a sneer: „Of course. It must have been a joke to you. A fucking lie to prove you could have anyone if you wanted. And I’ve been stupid enough to fall for it. To let you touch me. Fuck! I’ve been so stupid!“

„Wha ...“, Tharn tried to stand up, but Type’s sharp glance made him stop in the middle of the movement.

„Fuck you! You’ve been using me and dared to call it ‘love’. If that’s your love, I don’t want it. It’s garbage!“

„Stop!“

Out of surprise, Type took a step back, falling back down on the bed. Tharn was standing now, only a few feet in front of him, his face a raging mess.

„Fucking stop it this instant. You know nothing, so shut you damn mouth or I will do it!“

The hollowness in Type’s chest made all his thoughts vanish, just leaving a deep, hollow feeling. No, not everything seemed hollow. There was some spark, a little dot of hope. Tharn being angry should mean something, shouldn’t it? Wasn’t it better than the fake mask and the indifference? Than the talks about them being only fuck buddies?  
But he didn’t know yet and so he looked at the man in front of him in anticipation.

When Type didn’t say anything, Tharn continued: „It was you who told me to stop this behaviour. To stop being jealous and possessive. To treat you like a sex friend even though my feelings are much deeper than that! I did it to keep close to you, you know? Because I didn’t want to lose you, for fucks sake! I don’t do affairs and for me you’ve never been one, so fuck off with your accusations, Type. It was you who told me to stop loving you!“

No.  
It was as if a black hole in Type’s stomach was pulling everything in, making him feel sick. No. He’d never meant it like that. He’d never wanted for Tharn to stop loving him. If anything he missed Tharn’s confessions of love, his open smile and his honest kisses. It was like an itch he was too afraid to scratch because he feared he’d bleed all over if he tried.

„You think I have a lover on the side? Isn’t it you who is two-timing the whole time? Even though you know about my feelings? I’ve told you often enough, I don’t want to hit on anyone beside you and I’ve never done it during our time together. Would it make things better if you weren’t the only one? Would you consider keeping me as your fuck toy if I had another affair?“

„No!“

Within a flash, Type was standing and grabbing Tharn by his shirt.

„No“, he said again, his chest heaving again, his throat tight as he stared at Tharn as if the whole situation would work out just like that. Without him having to use words.

„What ...“

„No“, this time he sounded as if he was begging, but suddenly Type didn’t care anymore, „Don’t. Please don’t.“

„Don’t what, Type?“

The aggressive stance had left Tharn’s body and his voice had gotten softer as he simply stood before Type, watching him carefully. The mask was still in place, but at least he wasn’t wearing this fake smile anymore.

Type swallowed, trying to get his brain to work more coherently. What didn’t he want? For Tharn to stop loving him? For Tharn to go to other men?  
The image of Tharn flirting with other men, kissing another and fucking them slowly into the mattress as he had done with Type, almost drove him insane. No, he couldn’t take it, wouldn’t be able to endure it if he knew, if he suspected.

He let out a shaky breath as his fingers relaxed a bit and he leaned his head against Tharn’s chest, giving himself the small happiness of feeling his warmth.

„Please don’t go to another man. Please don’t. I ... You ... I can’t take it.“

„Explain.“

Closing his eyes he continued to lean against Tharn, holding him close as if he could run away any moment now, leaving him here with his broken heart.

„It makes me go insane, Tharn. Just to imagine you ... with another ... I ... no, please don’t.“

Tharn’s voice was still soft but firm: „You want me to love only you while you’re with another? You want me to stay faithful while I watch you flirt around? That’s hardly fair, Type.“

Type knew. God, he knew! But it was so hard to get his mind to work properly, to have one clear thought.

„If you’d only flirted with her, I could have endured it, Type. By god I have tried to keep down my possessiveness and my heartache. You asked me to and I tried my best. But I can’t stay by your side when you chose to date her. I can’t be your side fuck and I can’t watch you with your girlfriend. You can’t expect me to do this and still keep a smiling face as if it doesn’t hurt me.“

Type went cold all over once again and lifted his head to stare at Tharn once again, who was now smiling at him with this sad smile he sometimes had. No, this couldn’ be.

„What?“

„I know this all is overwhelming for you, but I can’t do it anymore, Type. If you’re actually in love with her and there’s no chance for me, I will break up with you. Whether you think it suits us or not.“

It was what he’d been afraid to hear for weeks now. Secretly and without thinking too much about it. Since their fight and his list. Since he’d given Tharn the choice he’d been afraid he might say ‘no’ and go. Just go.

Without realising it, Type was shaking his head, his fingers by now gripping Tharn’s biceps with so much strength, it hurt himself.

„I can’t lose you“, it broke out of him in a hurry, his voice shaky and desperate, „Don’t leave me, Tharn.“

„You’re the one leaving me, Type.“

A long time afterwards Type would always wonder how Tharn could have kept as soft and patient as he’d been back then. There was no anger any longer, only softness and sadness. But at this moment Tharn being like this was like a slap to the face. As if he’d already decided it would happen that way.

„No, I’m not. I won’t leave, I promise you. Just don’t go, don’t break up with me, please!“

For the first time this evening, Tharn seemed honestly open: „Why not, Type? I need to know, because I won’t just stay so you can have a sex friend. And I won’t stay if all I am to you is an addiction.“

Oh, he was an addiction, but different than Tharn thought. Suddenly everything made sense in Type’s head as he looked into the eyes of the man who’d held him so often, who’d given him love, expecting so little of him. Suddenly he knew why he graved hearing Tharn’s love confessions and why he hated picturing him with another man. Why he hated Tharn putting on a fake mask, pretending he wasn’t hurt or jealous. Why it hurt when Tharn didn’t put up a fight over him, only wishing him good luck. Why he’d been so afraid for all those weeks for it all to explode. Why he’d been so desperate to get a real reaction when he’d told Tharn about his plans regarding Paifah.

„I want you, Tharn.“

There was something like shock in Tharn’s eyes.

„I want you and I’ve tried my best to ignore it. Believe me, I tried, but I can’t anymore.“

Tharn didn’t say anything and the silence grew between them. After long moments of Type trying to communicate all of his confusing feelings only with his eyes, Tharn sighed and led him to the bed again: „Let’s sit down, please.“

„I want you“, Type spoke as soon as they were sitting, holding onto Tharn’s shoulder and hand.

„I know you want me“, there was something like a rueful smile around his mouth, „But maybe you only want my body.“

„No“, Type shook his head violently, „If it was only your body I wouldn’t hate seeing your fake smile or to imagine you with another man.“

„Are you sure? Maybe you just seeing another proof of me being gay.“

Type drew his brows together in frustration: „I might be late with my realisation, but I’m not stupid. I know what I want is different from being casual lovers, Tharn.“

„Then why did you pursue Paifah? Are you sure you aren’t in love with her?“

Type loosened his grip on Tharn’s arms and grabbed his chin, pulling his face closer.

„Listen to me. I tried to avoid this, didn’t want to accept my feelings, but whenever I was with Paifah, all I did was think about you. Every goddamn time.“

It was as if someone had sucked out all air between them as they stared into each other's eyes, hearts beating faster, faces flushed and emotions high. Tharn was finally losing his calm as he stared at Type with tears in his eyes.

„I ...“, but he broke off, seeming helpless for the very first time.

Type felt on a high, his thoughts and feelings suddenly as clear as water. How could he have been so blind? So dumb and afraid? He’d almost lost the person most important to him. The one he felt most comfortable and safe with.

„I’m not confused anymore, okay? You have to believe me. All the time when I asked you to be okay with us being sex friends? I hated it. I hated when you said yes and behaved as if it was nothing. I hated the thought of you getting over me, but I didn’t dare to accept what it meant.“

„But now you do?“

„I rather accept my feelings than lose you. I wouldn’t be able to bear it.“

„If it’s only because of fear ...“

„No, you don’t understand. I want this. Us. I fucked up for so long, but I finally understand, okay? And I won’t make the same mistake again. So please, give me another chance. Let me prove my feelings to you.“

Type felt desperate, fearing Tharn would say ‘no’ again because he had fucked up too much, had apologised too late. But Tharn was crying in front of him, with wide eyes and he was beautiful. Carefully, as if Tharn could break, Type wiped away the tears and smiled at him as hopeful as he dared to be.

„Please stay with me.“

„What if you regret it? What if you change your mind tomorrow?“

„I won’t, I promise you.“

„How do you know?“

Tharn wouldn’t make it easy for him and felt so much regret as he realised how much pain he must have brought him.

„I am sorry for hurting you. I was stupid and I deserve everything you want to tell me. But please, stay with me, let me prove my feelings to you.“

Tharn took Type’s hands from his face and held them in his own, looking down as if they were giving him any answers. Finally he looked up: „How do you know?“

„Because I’ve never had such feelings for anyone else. Because I can’t stop thinking about you. And because you’re the most important person in my life now.“

Despite his tears, a small, shy but oh so adorable smile appeared on Tharn’s face as he lifted Type’s hands and kissed them slowly, deliberately.

When he looked up again he was smiling wide and honestly and so damn beautiful Type almost forgot to breathe. 

„I trust you“, Tharn said as he cupped Type’s face with his hands and slowly, slowly pulled him closer. Even though Type was leaning in anyway, his breath stuck in his throat and his pulse going crazy.

„I love you“, Tharn said as their lips finally connected in a kiss.

Type could have sworn he’d never grinned so wide in his entire life as pure happiness spread in his body and he deepened the kiss, not wanting to let go. Ever.

~~~~

„So, what did Paifah say?“

Type grimaced as he put his bag down and kissed his boyfriend on top of the head. A little gesture he’d never thought he’d love to do. Or to receive.

„She basically told me to fuck off and hoped I’d never get happy without her.“

„Oh, what a mean wish“, Tharn looked up with this adorable smile, an amused glint in his eyes.

„Terrible“, Type replied as he sat down next to Tharn, an arm sneaking around him to pull him against his boyfriend. 

„I guess we have to prove her wrong.“

„I guess so“, Type replied, leaning closer to kiss his boyfriend. His boyfriend.

the End

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know if you like it ;)
> 
> If you have any requests during such special times, regarding TharnType or 3wbf or dbk (or anything else), please let me know!  
> https://morathicain.tumblr.com/


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